When Jonah Fleishhacker was 3, he attended his first Broadway performance, a matinee of "The Lion King." His response was lackluster, at best. "He fell asleep," admits his grandmother, Vicki Fleishhacker, a member of the Children's Theatre Association of San Francisco. "He wasn't ready for it."

But when the show comes to San Francisco's Orpheum Theatre next week, his family is planning to try again. "He's seen the video, and he's heard the music," Fleishhacker says, "Now, he's very excited."

For young children, the first foray to the theater can be a momentous, life-altering experience. Or not. Without proper preparation or forethought, what many parents hope will be a grand debut turns into a flop.

"I think some people waste their money," Rick Haffner, marketing director of the California Theatre Center in Sunnyvale, Calif., says bluntly. Haffner once took his 5-year-old niece to a Los Angeles production of "Annie" - only to watch her squirm through it. "I'm like, 'I just spent 60 bucks, look at the stage!"' he recalls with dismay. "It's awfully expensive to take a child that might not like it."

If you're considering such an outing, first consider whether your particular child is even ready for a show. Children's attention spans can vary wildly; some 2- or 3-year-olds can sit through repeated viewings of "Finding Nemo," while their older siblings can't sit still through an episode of "Lizzie McGuire." Before venturing out to a professional production, one good choice may be to start out with a show aimed at children, which is likely to be shorter and more tolerant of a child's, er, natural enthusiasm.

Professional theaters discourage infants, while children's theater groups are divided. Some say they are verboten, while others say just be ready to hustle them out if they start to wail, or risk the wrath of fellow theatergoers and actors.

If you think your child is ready for a professional show, do some research on which show to attend. A big mistake is brining a child still too young for the material, leading to a bored or frightened child.

"Parents should do their homework on what the show is about and whether it is age appropriate for their children," advises Joan Adelman, production manager of the Peninsula Youth Theatre. "You wouldn't want to take a child to see Stephen Sondheim the first time out."

Urbane witty plays darker musicals are probably not a good bet.

Even a seemingly harmless show can be upsetting. Fleishhacker recalls a girl who started crying right away during last year's performance of "The Wizard of Oz." "The munchkins scared her," she says.

Lori Stokes, founder of the children's theater troupe Star Struck in Fremont, Calif., recommends simply calling the theater and asking their advice.

"Theaters will say what age is recommended for the show," she says "They know what's best." According to the Orpheum Theatre box office, "The Lion King" is recommended for children 5 and older.

Once you know which show you're going to, preparation is key. Read the book or play the show's music ahead of time.

"Talk about the show with your child to prepare them for what they can expect," says Stokes. "Giving them an overview of what the show's about helps them understand what's going on." Also, plan wisely: Try to request an aisle seat, for a quick getaway if the child gets rowdy or fussy.

"If you do bring a very small child," Haffner says, "it's a good idea to sit in the back row on the aisle, and be ready to take them out." Give yourself plenty of time to arrive. Get there at least a half hour early to use the bathroom or get settled with a snack before curtain call.

If possible, shoot for a matinee rather than evening performance, which will easily stretch past bedtime, to increase the odds your child will stay awake.

On the flip side, if your child arrives at the theater overexcited, let them run around outside before settling down. "Let them burn off steam," Haffner says, "Because once you're inside, you have to sit quietly." Children should be prepped on what to expect at the theater, to avoid unnecessary surprise reactions.

"A common mistake," says Haffner, "is when parents bring a 4-year-old child who is scared of the dark. They should tell them the lights will go down, and that's an exciting time, not a scary thing.

"During intermission, you may want to give your child a tour of the theater. Many children often leave more impressed with the venue itself than the show they've seen.

"I think it helps to explain how the theater is set up," says Adelman. "Point out that the musicians play in a place called the pit and are a very integral part of the show. In a movie, you hear the music, but kids have no idea which instruments are being played."

Most importantly, go over proper theater etiquette. Explain that an usher will take your tickets and lead you to your seats, and that when the lights go down, it is time to be quiet.

"Kids who have never seen a live production before think it's a video, (and continue) talking and making noise," says Dianne Appleton of the East Bay Children's Theatre.

Point out to your child that the cast members have put in a lot of hard work, learning their lines and dance routines. "Tell them they play a part in the play, the role of being in the audience," Stokes says. "Let them know it's OK to acknowledge the actors with clapping laughter, that response is what the actors feed on."

But sometimes, especially in children's shows, actors do break the fourth wall and elicit a response. "It's difficult for a child to know when it's appropriate to answer back and when it's not," Haffner says. "That's a good thing for parents to talk about. If the actor asks a question and wants a response, it's OK to yell out, but normally you do not." Though stewarding a child from curtain up to curtain call requires some effort, aficionados say live theater enriches their lives and stimulates their imagination.

"There's nothing better than sharing that experience with your children," Stokes agrees. "It's magical to share something you see live with someone you love." (The Oakland Tribune is a member of the MediaNews Group News Service.)